Care of the Earth involves attentiveness to the messages communicated by earth, wind, water, fire and the creatures and plants that dwell therein. It is quite simply opening all of our senses to what creation has to convey in any given moment and holding that. Matter mediates the divine. What does it matter that matter mediates the divine if I do not attend to what God conveys to me thereby? Care for the Soul also involves attentiveness to the messages communicated by earth, wind, water and fire…but it is the interior listening to what happens in my deepest core. When the resonance between what God conveys through matter above, behind, below and before me with what God conveys within my deepest core is in harmony I am at peace and healed…when there is dissonance, my senses are disrupted and I feel lost, afraid, confused, frustrated and disappointed. When I am at my least sensible, I feel betrayed by my neighbors and by God whom I love.
The symphony of the Eucharist has five major movements according to Henry Nouwen: Loss, Presence, Invitation, Communion and Mission. When I am aware of the losses, fears, confusions, frustrations, disappointments and betrayals in my own heart I have more compassion for the losses, fears, confusions, frustrations, disappointments and betrayals that are felt by others. I convey that what happens to them matters to me in a personal way and there is a sense between us of a deep connectedness. It is in being attentive that I seek to be a good neighbor with humanity and the earth from which we are made. I experience the Eucharist as “uniting heaven and earth” especially in the consecration and prayer. My stance before the Eucharist is one of holding my heart open and letting its contents flow into the Body and Blood of Christ consecrated on the altar. I let the troubles and trials within my soul flow into those of the rest of the world and receive into my heart what the concerns conveyed back to me through the Eucharist. In this stance, connected to all of creation, my heart weeps with the Blessed Mother before the crucified Lord, nourished by the Body and washed by the Blood in prayer.
At this moment in my life I feel keenly a loss of my youth, of the strong, confident, easy going woman I used to be. My body is aging noticeably and I feel weaker and achier after doing the physical exercises that I know I need. Still I do them and let myself ache. I feel a loss at work too. I am gradually giving up the work I have been doing to other ministers. This is a loss that I accept willingly in order to make space in my life for another type of work next year. But, what that work will be I do not know. I am measuring the pace at which this turn over happens so that I can feel more comfortable with the way it is occurring. There is a loss of authority and power involved and I recognize that and feel it. There are some hurts involved and some fears. The aging is happening in the same way, gradually, in a managed and paced way. I am willingly taking these losses as a natural. I have a rich understanding of the ebb and flow of life that gives me courage to accept all losses as vital preparation for gain. I trust in God to lead me in the way I need to go next.
