The stories of those who have been the face of God for us are stories with power to heal and change me. These days I am accompanied on my journey by many elders who daily teach me humility through their example of suffering and perseverance. Can I drink the cup they drink? No, I think, my time has not yet come. In the evening I am often hidden away to avoid being called to fix more things with computers, but in making that choice if hiding I am out of balance. Unavailable to them by being hidden away, even though I am there, I am not open to the face of God with the power to heal and change me. How can I be the cup of God’s mercy and forgiveness if I always keep the cupboard door closed? This is the area I am working on right now in my life as I try to bring my life into better balance.
In my mind there is a clear difference between authority and power, but they sometimes come together. Authority is built on authenticity. It is sometimes heard in the voice and the choice of words a person uses. This quality of voice either settles or does not settle well with the hearer. People differ as to what qualities are needed to make a person seem authentic. We react differently and disagree about who is the best authority on any give topic. I have sometimes found my authenticity and my authority challenged by my sisters. I don't sound like one of them because my life experiences have been so different having entered later in life and having learned to lead in a different way from the way they were taught to lead.
Do you remember the commercial “This is not your grandfather’s Oldsmobile?” Oldsmobile was a company who was perceived as having authenticity and trustworthiness with a generation that would soon pass away. They had missed the boat in meeting the needs of the sons and daughters of that generation by opting to build a product to the speculations of the previous generation (with all the money), but now they needed to create a new image to appeal to the grandchildren of that generation or they would take a huge loss. The slogan was catchy but it didn’t work. It only made it clearer to the public that Oldsmobile was a grandfather’s car.
Right now I live in my grandmother's community, but I am not your grandmother’s Oldsmobile. I can’t speak with a grandmother’s voice, because I am not of that generation. I am not anxious about holding onto the changes of Vatican II. I am not bitter or angry or defiant of the hierarchy, but I am not a pre-Vatican II Catholic. Right now change is slow or even at a standstill in the Church because of the anxiety of those who fear losing the changes brought on by Vatican II. The “me generation” would rather see the Church and religious life itself die out than turn over the reins to someone who did not live through what they lived through and cannot speak with their voice. I have a new vision, but my time has not yet come. In time a new image of an entirely different car, not an Oldsmobile at all perhaps a hybrid, will be accepted but is now the time?
All this is about authority and not about power. I know that power belongs to God alone. But authority makes a difference here on earth and structures can thwart the productive conveyance of God’s power. Like a mystic I unite myself with God through prayer so that I will be able to live and speak of it to the next generation in inspirational ways. The mystics in my life give me hope that this can happen through God’s power working in us and through us. In experiences of emptiness I seek out my mystics rather than my mentors. I go to my mentors when I am full of information and need help prioritizing and making wise choices. I go to my mystics for courage and inspiration. Knowing they are with me, observing, communicating and keeping on in the midst of suffering and trials inspires me to persevere in hope.
