Self Evaluation Unit I

I know that I am growing inside and out and I feel excited about work every day.  For me compassion is rooted in my love for Jesus and commitment to living the Gospel.  The Sacrament of anointing opens the door to the conversation about death that is sometimes difficult for patients and families to engage.   I have grown in my own acceptance of suffering as essential to deeper union with Jesus Christ and a pathway to human fulfillment.  The exercise of charting my grief map helped me to see that I have experienced many deaths in my own family and in my congregation.  I feel compassion in pastoral care of the dying, and in grief ministry, because of these early life experiences. Sharing sorrow is a compassionate way of being with those who suffer. My supervisor has helped me develop better emotional mindfulness in individual supervision.  I am able to give feedback to everyone in the group in a way that is constructive and helpful, and I am able to receive feedback without feeling defensive.  I accept criticism from literary agents and editors, and can receive criticism of my practice as a chaplain in the same way.  I understand chaplaincy as a creative art.

I want to explore my own awareness of how our personal stories are connected to patients’ stories, and hear how other chaplains make these connections.  A growing edge for our group is developing a sense of personal authority that is confident but also gentle and approachable.  I have a natural sense of curiosity that makes visiting patients a joy.  I love to hear patients' stories of how they came to be where they are and what life has been for them.  My own attentiveness is expressed mostly in a way of being present that is compassionate and mostly non-verbal.  I initiated relationships with the group, the staff, the pastoral care team and others in the hospital by listening to what others bring to the ministry and getting to know what is important to them.  I volunteered to cover for others and companion them and to help on a committee on improving care for the elderly. 

The cycle of contemplation and action is a daily awareness for me.  In chaplain work, much is shared that cannot be discussed out of respect for the patient.  The promise of confidentiality allows patients to express their emotional and spiritual needs openly.  I can only debrief a fraction of what we are holding in group and supervision, and the rest needs to be turned over to God and let go of.  I am committed to taking care of my own physical, psychological, intellectual, spiritual, social and emotional needs with humility, forgiveness and self-consideration.