Self Evaluation Unit I

I know that I am growing inside and out and I feel excited about work every day.  For me compassion is rooted in my love for Jesus and commitment to living the Gospel.  The Sacrament of anointing opens the door to the conversation about death that is sometimes difficult for patients and families to engage.   I have grown in my own acceptance of suffering as essential to deeper union with Jesus Christ and a pathway to human fulfillment.  The exercise of charting my grief map helped me to see that I have experienced many deaths in my own family and in my congregation.  I feel compassion in pastoral care of the dying, and in grief ministry, because of these early life experiences. Sharing sorrow is a compassionate way of being with those who suffer. My supervisor has helped me develop better emotional mindfulness in individual supervision.  I am able to give feedback to everyone in the group in a way that is constructive and helpful, and I am able to receive feedback without feeling defensive.  I accept criticism from literary agents and editors, and can receive criticism of my practice as a chaplain in the same way.  I understand chaplaincy as a creative art.

I want to explore my own awareness of how our personal stories are connected to patients’ stories, and hear how other chaplains make these connections.  A growing edge for our group is developing a sense of personal authority that is confident but also gentle and approachable.  I have a natural sense of curiosity that makes visiting patients a joy.  I love to hear patients' stories of how they came to be where they are and what life has been for them.  My own attentiveness is expressed mostly in a way of being present that is compassionate and mostly non-verbal.  I initiated relationships with the group, the staff, the pastoral care team and others in the hospital by listening to what others bring to the ministry and getting to know what is important to them.  I volunteered to cover for others and companion them and to help on a committee on improving care for the elderly. 

The cycle of contemplation and action is a daily awareness for me.  In chaplain work, much is shared that cannot be discussed out of respect for the patient.  The promise of confidentiality allows patients to express their emotional and spiritual needs openly.  I can only debrief a fraction of what we are holding in group and supervision, and the rest needs to be turned over to God and let go of.  I am committed to taking care of my own physical, psychological, intellectual, spiritual, social and emotional needs with humility, forgiveness and self-consideration.

Holy Darkness

Holy darkness, blessed night,
heaven's answer hidden from our sight.
As we await you, O God of silence,
we embrace your holy night.

I have tried you in fires of affliction;
I have taught your soul to grieve.
In the barren soil of your loneliness,
there I will plant my seed.

I have taught you the price of compassion;
you have stood before the grave.
Though my love can seem
like a raging storm,
this is the love that saves.

Were you there
when I raised up the mountains?
Can you guide the morning star?
Does the hawk take flight
when you give command?
Why do you doubt my power?

In your deepest hour of darkness
I will give you wealth untold.
When the silence stills your spirit,
will my riches fill your soul.

As the watchman waits for morning,
and the bride awaits her groom,
so we wait to hear your footsteps
as we rest beneath your moon.

Dear Family and Friends,

The lyrics of this hymn by Dan Schutte capture the feelings of my heart as this Christmas approaches.  I am grateful for a loving family, many long-term friendships and some interesting new ones.  I share the tragic sadness we all feel because of the violence we have witnessed.  The Holy Spirit infuses me with hope and blesses me with an incessant desire for meaningful ways to be of help to others.   The hospital provides me with daily opportunities to help patients to review their life journeys and pass on what is most meaningful to others.  My patients share their worries, grief, fears, concerns and sorrows with me.  And they share their hopes and dreams for the people they love.  My prayer is for you to find peace of mind and a courageous faith that inspires you to love even more deeply this year.    

With Love, Donna.      

Chaplain's Statement of Ministry

The image of Jesus as Healer speaks to me of how we work as a team in the ministry of healing and how the Lord guides my own practice.  I am already bound by a series of statements through my commitment to the Roman Catholic Church, the Dominican Order, the Congregation of the Queen of the Holy Rosary, and my local community at Saint Mary Magdalen. These multiple layers of commitment shape and hold my way of encountering, relating and ministering to others as well as my spirit of openness to change and personal vulnerability. I am incorporating these commitments into my commitment as a hospital chaplain.

As a Roman Catholic I believe in one God who created all that is visible and invisible, and in Jesus Christ, the Incarnation of God’s Love.  I believe in the mystical body of Christ living and effective in the world in ways beyond our imagining.  I believe in the Holy Spirit and the Communion of Saints and I am sustained by daily Eucharist and the liturgical prayer of the Church.  I have a special love for Mary, the Mother of God and her mystical path of humility, suffering and compassion.  I believe in the power of forgiveness to bring about healing, resurrection and the hope of eternal life. I believe in the contribution of the Catholic intellectual tradition and the application of reason and science in the search for faith and understanding.  I believe in a multicultural pluralistic society and interfaith dialogue for the common good of all humanity and all creation. 

As a Dominican Sister of the Queen of the Holy Rosary Congregation, my desire is to honor the shared experience of this year of prayer, study, ministry and community by being fully present and engaged in the ministry of spiritual care of patients in the hospital. It is the Dominican way to speak the truth with compassion, recognizing that the truth is always multifaceted. I know that I can only see the truth partially through my own uniquely tinted lenses, and I rely on the witness of others to gain a better understanding of the whole truth.  The Dominican motto “to praise, to bless, to preach” guides my spiritual practice.  I strive to think kindly of all, to see people in the best light, to be a blessing through my way of being, especially to those who are marginalized or discounted by others and to preach the teachings of Jesus in word and action.  Our congregational mission reminds me to be especially mindful of the needs of the young, the poor and the vulnerable in my ministry.  Our direction statement identifies me as a “Woman of the Word, uniquely individual, who reaches out to spread the light.”  In the spirit of this statement, I value the uniqueness of each individual and strive to honor God’s creative spirit within all of creation. 

With my community at Saint Mary Magdalen in Berkeley, I am responding to God’s gifts to me by choosing to stretch beyond my present limits to share Christ’s light with the world.  My value for integrity informs me to do that in a way that can be blended harmoniously with the light of other faiths.  Accepting the interconnectedness of all life, I take responsibility for the choices I make and understand that my choices impact the life of the planet.  While I am open to being changed by the wisdom of others, I am defined by my vows of poverty, chastity and obedience to God, to the Blessed Virgin Mary, to our Holy Father Dominic and to the Prioress of our Congregation and her successors. The tenets of the Roman Catholic faith and the charism of the Dominican Order are clearly identified and I am bound by them. 

These are the beliefs, values and considerations that underlie my mission of service as a chaplain.  My main purpose as a member of the health care team is to address the spiritual aspects of health.  This year of study and service as a chaplain will build upon my previous training as a Navy chaplain and service to my local community at St. Joseph Priory.  My hope is to be certified as a chaplain and find a position working in a hospital in the Bay area next year. 

Learning Goal #1 Walking the Bridge

I am a pedestrian on a new bridge that is being built between teams with different approaches to spiritual and pastoral care. The contemplative dialogue skills are a help. 

I will take time to notice defended and non-defended responses and energy among volunteers and staff;  identify values, assumptions, inferences and feelings in a non-judgmental way; look with compassion on all parties involved especially in polarized situations; check out biases and inferences in tense situations; let go of fears and hoped for outcomes and accept all with gratitude; and teach contemplative dialogue skills to the members of the spiritual care team.

 

My goal is to be able to communicate more mindfully and contribute to peaceful communication in tense and/or polarized situations between the two teams.

Learning Goal #2 Team Approach

I am beginning to understand the roles of the other members of the Interdisciplinary Team and how they work together, so that I can participate effectively and make a positive contribution to the overall care of patients and their families. 

I will meet the doctors, nurses, social workers, case managers, dieticians and housekeepers on the interdisciplinary teams on my floors; participate weekly in interdisciplinary rounds and staff meetings; reflect on participation in interdisciplinary rounds with my individual supervisor; and identify areas for growth and role play an interdisciplinary round with the spiritual care team

           

My goal is to be able to participate in weekly rounds effectively and collaborate with other members of the Interdisciplinary Team in the care of patients I visit.